Tag Archives: humour

extreme stories

teaserbreit

.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” — Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

.

an office xmas party can be a most beautiful encounter – a Swiss on-line news site asked their readers to tell their extreme strories during that event

” Was am Weihnachtsessen passiert, bleibt am Weihnachtsessen? Nicht bei den 20-Minuten-Lesern: Sie erzählen ihre peinlichsten Erlebnisse von der Firmenfeier.

what happened during the office xmas party stays at the xmas party ? not with our readers: they tell their most embarrassing moments ”

.

here some translated exerpts

after the party we were dancing. unfortunately afterwards I had something with a collegue. now there is no end to this story

.

in my 4th apprentice year a coworker filled me up badly with alcohol. I had to vomit into the umbrella stand because the toilett was busy. Since then they changed my name to ‘spewman’

.

the next morning after a merry xmas party I woke up next to my boss. it was terrific. now we are a couple

.

the boss was that drunk that he imagined to be an exotic dancer. the coordinator turned up the music extremly loud so that the police had to come. I’m looking forward to this year’s party

.

114446-vH_WJXsCUKBeETcoqUi3SQ

http://www.20min.ch/community/stories/story/-Ich-musste-in-den-Schirmstaender-kotzen–22994559

.

An Extreme Tale

(my pingback doesn’t work. i wonder whether this will be fixed sometime soon)


3D Christmas Yumm-Yumm

3D printed cookies
Ho Ho Ho
delicious
and
so good looking

santa 3D cookie

.

Today, publish a post based on unused material from a previous piece

i was still working on this pic for yesterday’s post when time ran out. so i’m glad for this present it today

.


 


The Perfekt Xmas Cookies

0 3D Printed Christmas cookies

Never again will my Xmas cookies be a failure.

0 DSC09102

These are my last years efforts: a pretty poor sight even though they tasted good. (I might also add in my favor that the heat in Australia does not help to bake at Christmas time)

With the new technology of a 3D printer, this malheur is a matter of the past.

In future my Xmas cookies will be perfect.

7 IMG_1109

It’s this simple: first you create your design on the computer (or download one if you wish to make it even easier)

1

then you fill the cartilage with the cookie dough (I guess special mixtures will be available at the bakery or printing departments)

2

you insert the cartilage into the printer

3

and watch4

how a perfect cookie is formed5

next you put the print-out in the oven, set the timer to baking cookies so they will not burn and then push the right button.

6

Out come your perfect print-outs (I mean cookies of course) and you can enjoy to present them to your keenest critics.9

All done with this fabulous machine hardly the size of your oven and it will fit into your kitchens easily because you can get rid of so many outdated kitchen appliances.

10 christmas-cookie-3d-printed-3

I start saving now !

pingback: What’s the most elaborate, complicated meal you’ve ever cooked? Was it a triumph for the ages, or a colossal fiasco?


Calamity on Flight VN242

Le Pho

This day was never a good day for Kym cuc. Breakfast had started alright, the tea was strong and fragrant, the buffet had catered all her favorite dishes and the short flirts with a businessman at her table as well as with the concierge left her self-confident and trusting Quan Yin to be on her side.

Today Kym cuc was going to acquire a painting. She had flown into Hong Kong from Hanoi the night before for that sole purpose. An oil on canvas by Le Pho, a country-man of hers. It was a unique painting.

Kym cuc possessed quite an art collection. Some she had inherited from her father and lately she had ventured into securing a few impressive works with a safe collectors potential. She had learned enough to know what to look for. And this painting had caught her eye.

The original had been bought by a governor of Tonkin, a French colonial province in northern Vietnam in 1937 and was titled “View From the Hilltop”. From Hanoi it was shipped to Paris and eventually to Oslo where the Frenchman’s grandson Patrick Lorenzi, the owner, is based.

Today this painting was up for auction at Christie’s Hong Kong and Kym cuc estimated it might go for around 4 mio HK dollars, considering the last Vietnamese auction record a year ago was 3.03 mio HK$. It was not her usual purchase for investment. She loved this painting. It pleased her emotionally.

It sold for HK$6.52 million ($840,000). Kym cuc was near tears when the price was rising and rising and she was unable to bid any higher.

Now she sat in a window seat in the late afternoon flight VN242 from Hong Kong back to Hanoi. The two seats beside her were empty and she never would have guessed that her day could get worse.

Just before the plane would get ready for departure, a couple arrived in a hurry, shoved luggage in the overhead lockers and settled into the seats next to Kym cuc. She had been annoyed and had been looking out the window, grumbling, but when she finally gave a glance to her neighbors-in-flight, she couldn’t help herself to lose control immediately and started yelling at the man next to her.

“No way will you sit next to me with that woman on your side! Go! Get out of here. Go! Sit somewhere else.”

The man obviously very embarrassed tried to calm her. But Kym cuc was like a wild bull buffalo. “No way! If you don’t go then let me out of here. I will not sit next to you and that woman.”

Anh dung still tried his best to save the explosive situation and asked Kym cuc to sit quietly and not to make a scene. At that Kym cuc addressed the woman next to Anh dung “You stole him from me. Give me my peace and leave me alone. Let me out of here”. When Doan vien also tried to calm her, Kym cuc reached over to Doan vien to push her to get up so she could get out from her caged-in seat. Doan vien shrieked at that and hit Kym cuc in the face and reached for her stiletto which Kym cuc managed to grab and started hacking into Anh dung screaming “Let me out! Let me out!”. Doan vien had managed to unbuckle herself again to get up from her seat and viciously started kicking Anh dung: “You never told me about this tramp. Who is she? How dare you!”

A stewardess and a group of other passengers were not able to help and were glad to give way when airport security arrived to escort the trio and their hand-luggage back into the terminal.

Finally back home Kym cuc was still furious. Vietnam Airline had fined her and Doan vien each VND 7.5 million ($350) and let Anh dung off the hook. They argued, while Kym cuc and Doan vien were still yelling, Anh dung was innocent, tried to keep the peace and was himself attacked by the two women.

Innocent! Yeah right!

red-heart klpingback


Tina in Love

image_t6

we are popular enough to be eaten by those who walk and breath on land we surely don’t need to linger around them. we wouldn’t if it was not for Tina.

Tina is different to all of us, but that does not mean we do not like her as any of us others. but Tina ….., see, all our names is Tuna, Southern Bluefin Tuna to be exact, but her would like to be called Tina.

she thinks she is a mermaid.

we all love a good feed of a variety of marine animals. Tina has it in her mind to catch a marine biologist. she thinks they are the greatest thing in and around the water.

there is one in particular, who seems to chase her a lot. he might have noticed something odd about Tina so Tina imagines he is in love with her as she is in love with him. i don’t think so.

well, ok, she is a bit different. usually any of us endures around a 10 degree higher water temperature than our normal range of approximately 18 degree. Tina can do more. she can endure up to 30 to 35 degree. that gives her the ability to stay longer near by the land. and she does. i think that is why that marine biologist is interested in her. i don’t think he recognized her as being a mermaid. even if he would, he wouldn’t like her fishy breath.

Tina however is convinced he is mad about her for her beauty. yes, she is a bit different to us. her odd range of temperature gives her also the ability to dive deeper and deeper into the ocean which she does a lot. she proves to us that her scales are so shiny because she is not as dark as some of us who happened to be exposed longer to the Great Australian Bright. just as well. i think the reason this marine biologist has not caught her yet is because of her vanity. after flirting with him she always escapes to bathe again and extensively in the dark.

if we are not waiting for Tina to return from her marine biologist then we wait for Tina to return from the dark. it puts us at risk when we have to wait for Tina. as it is, those men get about 20’000 of us a year. we are at the brink of extinction.

mermaidyg8


mother said NO

fanpop2 com

8.10.34

dear diary

was late for the school buss. had to walk through town to get home.

saw a time maschine at the jeweller’s. a watch. the jeweller said i can buy it on lay-by and he will keep it untill i payed it off. So cool.

worked it out. can pay back in no time from the money i get working at domino’s twice a week after school. was very ecsited.

told mom about it. i would only do a few years into the future. like only 15 years. i can’t stand the idea of doing the exams next year. also have heard bad news about uni. i’m terrified of having sex for the first time (all friends already done it). and giving birth – no thanks. i’d rather have divorce behind me and the kids on there way. i can’t wait to be adult so i can do what i want.

mom said NO. explayned her about the only 15 years etc. etc. but she said NO!

had to tell the jeweller. i hate it, i hate it, i hate it.

streincorp.deviantart com

****************************

images:: fanpop.com; streincorp.deviantart.com.

****************************

daily prompt “one way street”

****************************


wow, an award landed on my bloggy doorstep

This Award

wpid-liebster2-2

had caught my attention already during my first few steps through many of your blogs which i explored in typical newbie fashion> ‘oh, look at this’, ‘and that’, ‘how do they do it’ and of course ‘what’s this’. what can this ‘Liebster Award’ be – first my head jerked – translated it means ‘Darling Award’ – what is that all about – then my head shook in disbelieve and my nose twitched.

and here it landed on my bloggy doorstep this morning. it’s typical, when you have a question the answer follows soon, isn’t it. so i thank Shooting Star for nominating me, especially because it gives me also the opportunity to introduce Shooting Star and his surprising blog to you. i find Shooting Star to be awesome in his observations and witty communications. he also explained about the Liebster Award::

This Liebster Award was created to recognize and/or discover new bloggers and welcome them to the blogosphere.

The rules of this award are as follows::

  1. Link and thank the person who nominated you
  2. Answer the questions they asked you
  3. Pick eleven awesome bloggers to nominate ( preferably those with less than or around 200 followers)
  4. Ask them eleven questions (Shooting Star and others only asked 5)
  5. Let them know by commenting on one of their post

Shooting Star is asking the following five questions to the nominated, here with my response::

1) What drives you to write the current blog?

i dunno, i dunno, it certainly isn’t the initial intention that brought me here. i happened to find a totally new world to which i took like to a new xmas gift. at the moment all i want to do is play with it.

2) If you were given all the time to write a fiction novel, what would be the subject of the book?

hhmmm…., maybe about a mature anarchist who changes the world of sport by sending teams to disaster areas around the world to compete in improving the conditions where needed. after receiving the nobel prize the character then sets out to also change the world of competitive reality shows on television.

3) Which original post of yours (link it) do you want to develop into a movie?

‘a little story of love’ because I think it is so visual

4) What is your favourite movie?

nononono, with me there is no such thing. there are too many good ones and i watch so many for pure pleasure and relaxation that i do not pay much attention to names and titles. but i have seen one not too long ago that i keep remembering for its plot and great actors (although they chose one dubious person who’s performance nearly ruins the movie but can’t because it is just too good). it is the 1997 flick ‘The Edge’

5) Which football club you support, if you follow football. If you don’t who is your favourite sporting icon? Please share how you fell in love with your football team or the sporting icon as the case may be!

there is only one football and one specific game i follow. well, it is a series of 3 games and it is not really football in the technical sense but men run after a ball they sometimes cick so i think it counts.

i’m talking about the ‘state of origin’. i’m talking about rugby. well, i’m talking about aussie rules only. hardly any rules, as far as i can figure out, and definitely no wearing protective gear and helmets like american rules and such. aussie rules is the toughest and aussies are the best at it. especially the maroons. they held the title for 8 consecutive years. unbeatable.

chickatthefooty. net

this year (i could hardly watch it for tensed nervousness) they lost. but not for being not the better players but for the fact that the blues (honestly, what aussie rules team can win playing in baby colours) made it their rule and focus to knock out the best of the maroons as a tactic to win. i do admit that they are also good players, they are right there next to the best, but they played foul, foul, foul !

qt com au

i live in a tiny, remote community at the end of the world with an old wooden country community hall. this is where my neighbours introduced me to aussie rules. it is here where i attended to watch my first state of origin. the game was projected onto the wall, huge picture, the bar was open in a far corner and there were about a dozen neighbours in the huge cold hall teasing each other with their preferred team.

singlikenooneslistening. com

it happened to be a unique game because for some reason that game was held on a b-grade field and it had been poring with rain for a while. the players were covered in mud, their enormous thighs and bodies glided and slid and tackled and made the dirty wet soil splash to my delight.

i am a foreigner here. I am a world-traveling city-girl who has seen a lot but this atmosphere was purely exotic to me. this is why i am hooked on watching the maroons play the state of origin projected at the community hall at the end of the world. this is my tradition now.

.

here are my 5 (sorry, i can’t manage more) nominees in alphabetical order

http://crashcoursedummy.wordpress.com/

http://joatmon14.com/

http://en.gravatar.com/jrrose80

http://conqueringanthropophobia.wordpress.com/

http://ravenhairedgirl.com/

and i have the following questions::

1.

what is your strategy to handle the complexity of choices when your favorite choice is out of the question ?

2.

in what kind of a situation are you challenged to give your best ?

3.

what dream do you have that you know will always stay a dream ?

4.

who is your favorite philosopher and why ?

5.

what is the most impressive display of love you have experienced from a stranger ?

HAVE FUN


%d bloggers like this: